I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
