Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
