guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Randomize
