like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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