Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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