I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
