I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
