it wasn't lemon gatorade
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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