btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
