i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
