Umm I'm too high to move.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize