whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
