Soap is not a condiment
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize