You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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