We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
