I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
