my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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