I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
