I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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