Where are you?
In a non slutty way
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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