Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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