16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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