dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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