cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
