That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize