do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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