a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
