i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
