A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
