Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
