People with herpes should wear stickers.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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