Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
