he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
