Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
