the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
