I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
