yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
