my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
