Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
