so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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