Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
