I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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