so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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