In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
