Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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