I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't deserve a penis
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
