I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
