did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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