If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize