i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
