Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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