at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
