Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize