She just used a chaser for red wine.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
