people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
