And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize