Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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