So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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