belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
