found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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