I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
