I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
