We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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