he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
