The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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